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The Secret Place

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." 
Psalm 91:1.

I've noticed through the years, I've had less highs and lows as I've settled myself in the Scriptures. In a metaphor of a storm, when the wind blows, my house is not easily shaken. It takes a lot to move me from ground zero, because I have learned through tears, frustrations and waiting that if I stay with God, he will bring me through on the other side. 

Yet over the past few weeks, my world has been shaken. My understanding has been challenged and through many hundreds thousands of shed tears, I still sit without understanding. Yet, the only peace I have is sitting in the secret place with God, praying, weeping, praying, reading, and learning to trust on and lean on him when my faith has been shaken. 

It's taken me a few weeks to write this, partially because I needed to process, to cry and to scream and yell and sob and have just ugly, ugly moments with God, to wrestle with him and sit and stay at his feet. Even as I write this, I am still struggling and I think it will be a process of grief and walking it out with him. 

On June 24th, one of my dearest friends miscarried at 14 weeks. It had a been a week long process of going to the emergency room several times, seeing great reports on the ultrasounds, watching the beautiful life inside her doing spins and kicking, great heart beats and overall thriving. Yet, she was bleeding. I had interceded on her behalf, on the behalf of the baby...and yet on the June 24th, 18 hours after a good ultrasound, the baby was no longer. The process of sitting in the hospital with her while her husband was away in military training, watching her walk through one of the most difficult moments of her life was heartbreaking, heart wrenching and something I hope we never have to face again. 

After the D&C procedure, I took her home, tucked her into bed and returned to my house. Eric met me at the door and I melted into his arms and sobbed, loud, horrible, heartbreaking sobs. It was if I had lost my own child, but I didn't. I don't have to walk that road like she does, I don't hold the same grief she does, but I do grieve. I grieve for the life lost. I grieve for her and her husband's hurt hearts and sadness.

I have questioned God, I have cried (ugly cries), I have cursed the devil, I have sat quietly and pondered...and I don't have any answers. None. 

I'm usually a person who has answers, who can calmly walk someone through difficult moments in life. Yet, I don't have any answers for this. When I prayed, i didn't have any doubts in my mind that her body would be healed and the blood would stop flowing and the baby would be fine. But that's not what happened. 

So what does a person do in times that shake them deeply? Retreat to the secret place. It is here that I find refuge. God alone is my strength. He is my joy. He restores. 

The Importance of Community...and Birthdays!

Yes, it's true...today I am having a birthday. I have mixed emotions about birthdays. I like the parties, celebrations, treats, presents and the general happiness a birthday can bring. I love the gathering of family and friends...that's probably my favorite part. Yet, I'm not a fan of getting older, pulling gray hairs out with my tweezers or coming with terms that cellulite is just a natural part of my future as I age. Le sigh. 

Today started off the way a birthday should...with me SLEEPING IN! My wonderful hubby and kids were making breakfast when he received a call on his phone from one of my best friends. I had turned my phone on silent knowing that I would get a barrage of text messages, and I wanted to sleep. So at 7:30am today, he woke me up to a phone call that wrenched my heart as a mom. 

One of my dearest friends, who is 13 weeks pregnant, was showing blood. As any woman knows, blood and pregnancy do not mix. As her husband is in the military and away on training, she asked me to take her to the hospital. Within 10 minutes I was dressed, teeth brushed, hair tamed (as best as it can be), no make up on (the true sign of friendship) and out the door. For three hours we sat, prayed, cried, and waited as the doctors did their thing. After three hours, she received positive news and was discharged. Her baby is healthy and thriving. They have an idea of what caused the bleeding, but thankfully it looks as if she is completely in the clear. We are all thanking God for his mercies and safe keeping of the little one inside her. That child will be born and praise the name of Jesus! I can't wait to meet the little squirt this winter! 

As I reflect on my morning, I can't help but be thankful that God created us to be beings that love COMMUNITY! We need community and good friendships in our lives. Just like Moses had Aaron and Mariam, and David had Jonathan...we need those friends that are as thick as blood, would lay everything down for us, and petition God on our behalf when we falter. 

We are people made to be around others. To commune, fellowship, befriend, help, encourage, correct and love. That is our being, that is in our DNA. Be encouraged by the friends you have in your life, they are a valuable asset to who you are!

Entertaining Angels

First off, I want to say THANK YOU to all of you who have donated to the Bringing Hope to Slavyansk campaign. In just four days over $5,000 has been raised to help refugees, orphans and those stuck in war torn Slavyansk, Ukraine! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. If you haven't given and would like to, there is still time. All donations will be wired to Ukraine. Visit www.UkraineOrphans.org to make an online donation or for the address to send a check donation. 

Now, onto the heading of this blog post. God has really been challenging me in two main areas lately. First, about the focus of missions and the second, about hospitality to strangers. 

I read an interesting article on how working in a cross-cultural setting can become an idol for some people. That being a "missionary" or working in the "mission field overseas" is put as the ultimate goal for some Christians. God has really been challenging me to search my own heart about my overseas work - asking me to see if I have put any of it on a alter. Do I value working cross culturally more than I value and seek out my time with God? Am I striving to be in foreign lands more than I strive to serve God and have a relationship with Him? If I answer honestly, at moments, yes, I do. It breaks my heart to know I've done that to God, my King. It hurts. Yet, He is refining my way of thinking, changing how I view things and where I put value. 

If we put God first, if a relationship and time with him is valued above everything else, the overflow will be his love for the people of the earth. The overflow will be a heart of compassion to the hurting, downtrodden and lowly. So, as an ever constant check, I have to realign my focus back to Him. Not to Ukraine, not to foreign lands, but to Him. What is the point of it all, going overseas, if not Him? 

I am thankful for these times of correction. Too often, as a planner and organizer, I get into this "bubble" and wonder why God isn't moving the way or at the speed I want. Well, it may simply be this. So that I can wait upon Him...so that I can learn to sit at His feet and worship Him. It's training in the waiting. So I am learning to give up my dreams so that He can refine them. While I have plans and things I know are God inspired, His desire is to first have my full attention, to have a relationship with me, to be my priority. I am glad I've got those around me to sharpen, correct and encourage me to just sit and spend time with Jesus every day. That is what matters. That's the only thing that really matters. Jesus. 

Secondly, I have been coming back to Hebrews 13:2, over and over and over again. I feel like I do a lot for people in general, but I've been meditating on this scripture for a couple of weeks now. I honestly don't know what I am supposed to be learning...but I'm stuck on it. I keep asking, "God, what are you wanting me to know here? What do you want to teach me about this?" 

Yesterday, we received an urgent email request to help a woman and her children escape from an abusive situation - completely start over. I sent the request to Eric and asked him what does he think we can do? We don't have extra finances to send her, but what could we do? He replied back, "Invite her to live with us until she can find a more permanent place." Duh! I love my husbands generosity towards the wounded and hurting. 

As of right now, the family will be staying with us as they figure out their next steps. Please keep this unnamed woman and her children in your prayers. She desperately needs safety, encouragement and God's love to overwhelm her. Pray for us too, as our life will be unsettled by entertaining strangers for a time.

Hope to Slavyansk Ukraine

Bring Hope to Slavyansk, Ukraine! 

Together, we bring Hope to Slvyansk, Ukraine. This eastern Ukrainian city has been ravaged by war between Ukraine's military forces and well-armed terrorist groups. There is no water, no electricity and no hope here. Help us bring HOPE to this city with your financial and new clothing donations!

Together we can make a difference! 

Watch this 30 second video on how you can help bring Hope to Slavyansk today!

Hope for Slavayansk

It has been a little over 10 years since I first stepped on to Ukrainian soil. May 11, 2004 was the date. I remember feeling so disoriented, traveling 5,660 miles BY MYSELF to a land where I didn't know the language, the culture or even what to expect.

This was in the days BEFORE Google (ahem, dating myself). What I knew of Ukraine was that it was a former member of the USSR. I had heard in school about bread lines in Russia, people only having one choice for toothpaste in the grocery stores instead of the variety we have in the USA, and to be careful about eye contact and speaking too loudly if I used public transportation. 

I arrived in Ukraine 13 years after the fall of the Soviet Union. In those years, Ukraine had exploded with development. While the soviet way of doing business and dealings was still very much alive (and is in some ways in the older generations), it was a nation being birthed, a preteen coming into its own mind and opinions. 

I was pleasantly surprised to realize that I had landed in a major metropolitan city. Kiev, the capital, was home to 3 million people with all the amenities of a major city like New York or London. It was heaven on earth to my 20 year old tastes and likes! It was nothing from what I had learned about in school. I thrived in that city, in my job and in my new home. The richness of the culture and the generosity and love of the Ukrainian people captured my heart.

Ukraine became my second home, my home away from home, yet that has even changed through the years. It is now my home in this physical earth (though Heaven is where my citizenship lies). My heart was left in Ukraine, and the USA is the waiting place before we return to this nation we call our own. I have asked God for the nation of Ukraine, and I believe He will give me Ukraine for His glory and His honor. 

So now, ten years later, I am still helping my homeland. In 2007, I spent some time in Slavaynsk Ukraine. This eastern city has become the major fighting zone for the fight between Ukraine's army and Russian terrorist groups trying to overtake the country. This city has been devastated by the fighting. For over a week, the citizens have had NO WATER. They are getting water out of local fountains. The city has sporadic electricity. People are starving, as the stores are all closed and no transport trucks are delivering food.

Residents of Slavayansk, Ukraine filling water jugs. The city has NO Water and sporadic electricity.

I am asking all of my friends and family to become the CHAMPIONS for this city. Would you please pray for the people of Slavayansk? They desperately need our prayers and our support! 

I am also asking that you considering making a Financial Gift to help buy food, medicine and evacuate refugees from Slavayansk. You can learn more and Donate through Ukraine Orphan Outreach. 100% OF YOUR DONATIONS ARE TAX DEDUCTIBLE!

Would you give today? DONATE HERE.

Ignorance is Bliss, So They Say

ig·no·rance

ˈignərəns/

noun

noun: ignorance

1. lack of knowledge or information.

   "he acted in ignorance of basic procedures"

   synonyms:

   incomprehension of, unawareness of, unconsciousness of, unfamiliarity with, inexperience with, lack of knowledge about, lack of information about;

This is how I have been feeling lately with interacting with those who know little to nothing about Ukraine, other than what they read in the headlines of America and British news agencies. I guess I can't blame them, ignorance is bliss is what they tell me. It just makes me frustrated and angry when I correct them and they provide me with said news articles talking about how Ukraine is on the brink of civil war. I suppose I am just as ignorant in other nations affairs.

So in an effort to inform those of my friends and family reading this blog of ours, here you go:

Ukraine is NOT at civil war. They are NOT on the brink of civil war. They do NOT want to go to civil war.

Most of my Ukrainian friends would be very angry if they heard you talking about a civil war in Ukraine, and would give you a verbal lashing on the truth of the matter.

Ukraine is at war with Russia. Plain, simple. Black and white. It is at war with Russian financed terrorist that are bombing, shooting and using human shields in an attempt to usurp the sovereignty of Ukraine.

On Sunday, the town of Slavayansk in the eastern province of Donetsk was bombed and suffered heavy artillery fire from these terrorists. There is an orphanage in that town, "Sails of Hope" who with the wisdom of God evacuated the children living in that home the weekend prior. Take in these images. This is what the terrorist are doing to Ukraine. It is not Ukrainian against Ukrainian. It is NOT a civil war. Be informed, don't be ignorant.

Pray for Russia. Pray for Ukraine. This conflict is tearing families apart, taking sons, brothers and husbands away from their families in both countries to fight. No one wants war! Pray for a change of heart in the leadership, that God would protect the innocent and intervene.